Sheila & Jim
Palm Bay, Florida
"As a young girl, I was severely controlled, manipulated, and bullied, and I vowed never to allow another man or thing to control me again. Shortly after that vow, I met my husband, and we immediately fell into our roles. I was head of the home; he was submissive, and we got along great. But why was I so unhappy? Life was good and easy, and everything seemed perfect. But, we were nothing more than lost, lukewarm infant Christians who were getting older but not growing up or growing closer to God. We had no real relationship with Jesus at all. This set us up for the perfect storm. In 2008, 18 years into our marriage, our first child arrived. What was supposed to be the start of a new life filled with promise quickly turned upside down. Becoming a parent was more than Jim could handle, and in 2009, our storm hit, and I began my 7-year stand even as we had two more children over the course of those seven years. When I first started my stand, I started it as a backslidden Christian with no real love or knowledge of God. I was lost; my identity was completely intertwined with my husband, and without him, I was in total fear and panic. I was a woman living in total darkness, and my husband was my only source of hope and light. When he left, I felt alone, terrified, and helpless. I was desperate to get my husband back. I tried everything in my own power to get my husband back. I tried tears, anger, guilt, and even manipulation of my own health to force him to come to his senses. I thank God that He did not allow my attempts to prosper because we would have gone right back to being lukewarm and never would have found our real identities in Christ. In the parable in Luke 15, the woman and the lost coin fit me perfectly. My husband was very valuable to me. More valuable than God. I truly surrendered to God when the revelation came that nothing I was doing was helping me. God needed me to do it His way, just like the woman in the parable. I lived my whole life in darkness. I had times when I turned my light up a bit, but it was never bright or consistent. But God taught me to turn that light up and keep it burning bright. With this new light shining bright, I could see a mess of my own life I'd never seen before. God helped me to sweep my house clean. He helped me to see the woman I had become: controlling, manipulative, compulsive in the flesh, and with no respect for God or my husband. I lived with my feelings and emotions ruling my life and had no clue how to let the fruit of the Spirit manifest in power throughout my life. The flesh ruled my life, and it took the sheer magnitude and size of a 7-year storm to wake me up and get my attention for me to take seriously what is written in the Word. Dying to our flesh! During my storm, God transformed me from a scared, insecure child who could not see herself as having any worth apart from her spouse into a woman who knows to Whom she belongs. Are you wondering about my husband? After seven years, Jim fell on his knees and poured his heart out to God. He decided to return to God and join me in the fight to save our marriage. He joined a men's group at church, started to attend church on Sundays, and eventually stepped fully into his lead role as the head of our home. I had been praying for him to take that role for seven years, and it came to pass." Sheila now runs Marriage Revealed Ministries, where she helps men and women who are standing for marriage restoration. For more info on her ministry, visit her website at www.MarriageRevealedMinistries.com
