Brittany & Breshaun
Oklahoma City, OK
"I'm Brittany and my husband is Breshaun. We'd been married for almost twelve years when we had a sudden crisis. For Breshaun, it was a long time coming. We hadn't experienced any major marital problems, yet we crashed and burned seemingly out of nowhere. Breshaun shared he'd been suffering in silence with discontentment and flirting with the idea of leaving and starting life over. Then, one day, I woke up, and he was gone. It was scary, and I was blocked from contact with Breshaun and unable to get answers. Suddenly, we were strangers, and he badly wanted to move on. Over the next five months, we stayed thousands of miles apart with scarce communication windows. Conversations about the kids or other necessary information were short and to the point. We weren't hostile, just quick, blunt, emotionless, and matter-of-fact. By text, he said he was seeing someone and wanted a divorce. Things seemed hopeless. I was an instant single parent with no time to prepare. Breshaun lived with his affair partner. I couldn't figure out how to successfully intervene. He was heavily using substances and insistent that he didn't love me or even like me anymore. He updated his social media to his new "relationship" status, with that person as his profile picture. I couldn't control the direction of regression. No matter how much I prayed, there was more and more bad news with no relief. Many family and friends who knew what was going on tried to help by insisting I move on or consider the possibility that he was gone forever. That only made me feel worse; my one relief was my relationship with God. That's where I turned all of my efforts and energy. I remember falling on my knees the first week of Breshaun's departure, crying to God for instructions, and hearing Him calmly say, "Wait" twice! That's when I started my stand. I'm an over-thinker, and my many thoughts created impatience. I scoured the internet and found abundant information about the reality many others like me were facing or had faced. Negative stories drained me, so I turned to stories of hope and bumped into Jason Carver's Standing Supernaturally for Marriage Restoration ministry, as well as several other beneficial pro-marriage standing organizations (GYM ministries, GOATSWIN, and Marriage Helper). I built an arsenal of resources and a group of faith-filled people to talk to, including family, friends, and a group of women I met in the Standing Supernaturally Academy. I fed my spirit nonstop with encouraging gospel music, scripture, and countless articles, videos, and podcasts. I binge-watched sermons about spiritual fruit and God's character. I learned how to war spiritually. Eventually, I began to live beyond consuming marriage restoration content around the clock. My marriage crisis didn't have any points of entry I could naturally influence, so instead, I focused on what I could control - becoming the best version of myself. I got a gym membership and a new wardrobe, reorganized my house, and took more time off work to be present with my kids and enable them to continue their lives and activities. Slowly, God's love transformed me from a hurting person to having patience, healing, peace, love, joy, and encouraging others. Breshaun and I experienced individual turning points. Because we weren't in communication, we were unaware we were having similar thoughts. Breshaun was thousands of miles away, regretting his choices, believing he'd taken things too far for restoration to be possible. I was back home fighting to silence my doubts and stay focused on trusting God and the process of being hands-off. Then the unbelievable happened! Restoration came as suddenly as our crisis had started. Before the New Year, I experienced a sense of urgency, similar to the impatience initially in my stand. This was different; I wasn't impatient but had feelings of eager anticipation. On the evening of New Year's Day, I received his email with the subject line "Coming Home." He humbly stated he didn't want a divorce, and he wanted to honor his commitment before God and come home if he could. The grace of God has reunited us! Even when it looks like it's all over, it's possible to be hopeful; God's timing is perfect. It doesn't have to feel true to be authentic! God loves you, and He will come through for you like He did for us." Brittany was also a member of our 12-week e-course called "The Standing Supernaturally Academy." This course was designed to train those standing for their marriage to walk in supernatural hope, joy, and power! - For info on how to sign up and join the Academy, go to www.StandingSupernaturally.com/Academy
