Daniel & Tabi
Columbus, Ohio
"My name is Daniel and my wife is Tabi. I'm an IT professional and Tabi is a stay-at-home wife due to disability. We had what I thought was a pretty normal and amazing marriage. We had some difficulties in the beginning, including some issues with infidelity from both of us before we got married and some addiction problems for my wife, which continued throughout our marriage. When the truth of everything started to come out, she left and lived with another man for five months. When the separation first happened, I fell into a major depression; I had feelings of self-harm and a destructive attitude. My closest friends were saying to be angry and get a divorce; the marriage was finished and dead. So, believe me, when all this started, I had doubts that our marriage would survive. While Tabi was gone, we had minor communication and tried couples counseling. But it wasn't Christ-based or marriage-focused. And after our first session, it blew us up. I walked away for 24 hours from the house and she cut off all forms of communication. But in those 24 hours, when I hit rock bottom, Jesus was there and I turned everything over to God. Shortly thereafter, I chose to be baptized, putting my prayer life above everything else. I had the chance to share that with Tabi, and she broke down in tears of joy. At that moment, I felt like things were changing for the positive. God was the leading force in the restoration process. He led me to the right people to talk to. He showed me signs and gave me a prophetic dream. God often led me to read Isaiah 40:30-31. Shortly after He first led me to that verse, I was letting the dogs out back, and right on the top step to the back door, I found an 18-inch feather, which really encouraged me. I started watching Marriage Helper videos on YouTube and then found Jason Carver with Standing Supernaturally For Marriage Restoration. All of his videos gave me the strength to keep standing, to stop doing negative things during the communication I could have with Tabi and to truly focus on God, myself and my family. Our youngest son got baptized as well during Tabi's time out of the house, and that event really drew her back toward the family and put her in touch with her father and stepmother. This led to her parents going and getting her from the other man's house, even though she wasn't truly ready. Our reconciliation wasn't instant and a lot of that had to do with the addiction problem. Communication between Tabi and the other man continued for about three months but with the accountability we had set up and starting with little steps of trust and promises, things slowly came together. Through those steps, Tabi hasn't communicated with the other man since. We began attending church together, praying together, talking and not doing things on our own. These were all part of our process of investing in and re-falling in love with each other. We even went on vacation together for our anniversary, having a once-in-a-lifetime experience together. Tabi and I are stronger now than we have ever been because we are both focused on God. I can't emphasize this enough: listen to other stories of restoration. Those are prophecies for your marriage. Focus on yourself and what you are doing instead of your spouse's actions. That will help with the feelings of lack of control. Stop doing negative things in your relationship that could push your spouse away from you. God is good and marriage is good. The closer you get to God, the stronger two of the three cords are. Pray and listen; you may not hear a deep voice in your head but God is talking to you. He is the amazing creator of this universe and I am humbled that He always seeks that active personal relationship with me and celebrates with Tabi and me in our reconciliation. I thank Jesus for His hand in directing me personally to where I needed to be to have the marriage He set out for us. I am so grateful to Tabi for her soft heart and willingness to listen to the Spirit, moving her ever closer to restoration. My wife's commitment to healing and transparency makes my heart sing. All I can say to those reading this is never to lose faith; God has provided wonderful people and resources to reassure you in your stand. IT IS WORTH IT!"
